If you have old computers up on blocks in the front yard.

If you have old computers up on blocks in the front yard.

If your e-mail address ends in "over.yonder.com."

If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."

If the bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop."

If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson."

If you wire your network with jumper cables.

If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.

If your deer rifle has laser-guided bullets.

If your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT."

If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.

If your wife ever said either she or the computer had to go, and you still don't miss her.

If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on.

If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."

If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.

If you start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all."