I've been seeing various versions of this floating around...
I've been seeing various versions of this floating around...
Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 12:11:27 -0500
Jumbo Jettisoned
Claim: A zookeeper in Paderborn, Germany was killed by an elephant
defecating onto him.
Status: False.
Example: [Collected on the Internet, 1998]
PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich
Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of
animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and
prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly -- and
suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to
give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved
beast unloaded on him like a dump truck full of mud.
"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation
knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head
on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to
evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted
Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.
"With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung
for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during
that time he suffocated.
"It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that happen
sometimes -- a billion-to-one shot, at least."
The heartbreaking tale of constipation and tragedy began
April 23 when the conscientious zookeeper noticed that his
prize, 8,000-pound African elephant didn't seem to be
producing his usual poop aplenty.
"Friedrich had actually been concerned for several days
because he knew that severe constipation can kill an
elephant," assistant zookeeper Kurt Herrman recalled.
"He told me he was going to stay late that Thursday night to
treat Stefan with laxatives and possibly give him an enema.
"I offered to help, but he sent me on home, saying he had
everything under control."
But two hours later, horrified night watchman Walter Pleuger
found Friedrich lying lifeless under a mound of muck, his
body visible only from the knees down.
"I had never really thought about it before," Det. Dern said.
"But obviously, giving an elephant an enema can be a very
dangerous activity -- and not something that should be
attempted alone."
Origins: This entertaining "news item" appeared in the Weekly World
News, a publication not known for its overly high journalistic
standards. Stories invented of whole cloth have previously appeared in
its pages, and this latest pachyderm tale is but another of that ilk.
Photo or not, the story is a fake. There is no zoo in Paderborn,
Germany, and a check of that town's phone book fails to reveal listings
for either the victim Riesfeldt or detective Erik Dern. Moreover, no
reputable news agency carried the story of the unfortunate Friedrich
Riesfeldt's demise.
Even without knowing there's no zoo in Paderborn, this story should
leap off the page as something that has to be untrue. The key fact this
tale swings on is Riesfeldt's foolhardy yet somewhat successful
single-handed attempt to irrigate Stefan's posterior. No creature
willingly submits to an enema. A lone zookeeper attempting to
administer one to an elephant wouldn't get very far; the animal would
easily brush him aside.
The photograph supplied by the Weekly World News is clearly a fake. The
posture of the elephant makes one think of a circus animal with the
stand it was posed on airbrushed out, but more telling is the lack of
enema implements in the shot. If Riesfeldt had truly been overcome by a
sudden dam burst of excretia, then where are the tools he was using?
Where's the tubing and the source of water?
Another look at the photo confirms this shot was taken either during
daylight hours or in a well-lit circus tent, certainly not out in a
field after sunset. Going back to the Weekly World News story,
Riesfeldt's body was discovered by the night watchman two hours after
the fateful final conversation with another co-worker in which
Riesfeldt announced he was staying late to irrigate the elephant. I am
reliably informed elephants do not cast shadows at night.
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