cars

cars

Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1998 14:35:55 -0500

AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW Be My Wife Beautiful Mechanical Wonder Big Money Works Bought My Wife Break My Windows Brutal Money Waster Business, Money and Woman

BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FIAT Failure in Italian Automotive Technology Fix It All the Time Fix It Again, Tony!

FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot Fault Of R & D Fast Only Rolling Downhill Features O.J. and Ron's DNA First On Recall Day First On Rust and Deterioration Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road, Dead Found On Russian Dump

GM General Maintenance

GMC Garage Man's Companion Got a Mechanic Coming?

HONDA Had One Never Did Again Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else.

HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive . . .

MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day. Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover equipment

PROTON Possibly the Riskiest Option to Travel On-road Nowadays.

SAAB Send Another Automobile Back Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.

TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW Virtually Worthless