New Barbie doll
New Barbie doll
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 14:08:27 -0400
(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products,
the "Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month. The aim
of these dolls is to revert the stereotype that women are
numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and academically challenged.
This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very
own xterminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell"
series. The Barbie is robed in a dirty button-up shirt and a pair
of worn-out jeans with Casio all-purpose watches and thick glasses that
can set ants on fire. Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional. The
new Barbie has the incredible ability to stare at the screen
without blinking her eyes and to go without eating or drinking for 12
hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly consists of technical terms such
as "IP address," "TCP/IP," "kernel," "NP-complete," and "Alpha AXP's."
"We are very excited about this product," said John Olson,
Marketting Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset
the damage incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." A year ago, Mattel
released Barbie dolls that say, "Math is hard," with
condescending companions Ken. The Hacker Barbie's Ken is an
incompetent consultant who frequently asks Barbie for help.
The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of
Barbie dolls. Naomi Wuuf says, "I believe that these new dolls will
finally terminate the notion that women are inherently inferior when
it comes to mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that
Ken's hierarchical superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy
and oppress the masses." Mattel made no comment.
Parents, however, are worried that they would become technologically
behind by comparison to the children when the Hacker Barbie comes out.
"My daughter Jenny plays with the prototype Hacker Barbie over yonder
for two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of Oxford, Mississippi, "and as
y'all know, she now pays my credit card bill. Ain't got no idea how she
duz it, but she surely duz it. I jus don't wanna be looked upon as a
dumb mama." Mattel will be offering free training courses for those
who purchase the Hacker Barbie.
The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with
the complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will
teach computer ethics to youngsters, while "BARB1E R1TES L1KE BIFF!!!"
will serve as an introduction to expository writing.
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