Jokes

Humor

Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1998 17:08:00 -0500

NEW COMPUTER VIRUSES

Ellen Degeneres virus.....Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC

Monica Lewinsky virus....Sucks all the memory out of your computer

Titanic virus.....Makes your whole computer go down

Disney virus....Everthing in the computer goes Goofy

Mike Tyson virus......Quits after one byte

Prozac virus......Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care

Sharon Stone virus....Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there

Lorena Bobbit virus....Turns your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy

Tim Allen virus....Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact

Woody Allen virus...Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

Saddam Hussein virus....Won't let you into any of your programs

Tonya Harding virus....Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

Joey Buttafuoco virus...Attacks only minor files

X-files virus......All your Icons start shape shifting

Spice Girls virus....Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop

Ronald Reagan virus....Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus....Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them

Martha Stewart virus....Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop

Oprah Winfrey virus.....Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands to 300MB

AT&T virus.....Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting

MCI virus...Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus