Badtimes_Virus
Badtimes_Virus
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 1997 15:39:14 +0600
If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it
immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email
virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will
scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will
recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
cream melts and milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your
credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking
on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try
to play. It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will
mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and
leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with
your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile. It
will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your
shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current
boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to
your Visa card. Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the
toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full
bathtub. It will remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows,
and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is
dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade
of mauve.
These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid.
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