Airline Operating Systems
Airline Operating Systems
Date: Mon, 30 Aug 1999 10:43:17 -0500
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece
by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to
be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let
the plane coast until it hits the ground again.
Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and
act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you
are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to
know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to
know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy
baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10
minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and
takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their
own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the
runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of
printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket
yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts,
a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the
fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plan leaves and arrives
on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You
try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but
all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
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