PlanetMike’s Technology Journal Tips and tricks to get technology to work for you, by Michael Boyd Clark

A recording has been found of the discussion of how Republican Presidential candidate John McCain chose his running mate, Sarah Palin. Here’s the transcript, although unfortunately the audio file itself was destroyed while importing it into the computer:

McCain: Ok, well, we need to find me a vice-president. The convention is next week.

Advisor: Anything you say Senator. I guess it is an important decision.

McCain: Nah, not really. What does the veep do anyway?

Advisor: Not much usually. Sometimes the VP gets to vote in the Senate. What are your criteria for your vice president?

McCain: Well now, let’s work that out. They need to have experience governing.

Advisor: Governing? So you want a governor?

McCain: Yes. And a Republican, of course.

Advisor: Why, Senator? You’re a maverick; maybe we should choose a Democrat.

McCain: Well, that’s an interesting thought.

Advisor: Hillary made the Democratic race pretty exciting.

McCain: I wonder if she’d want be interested?

Advisor: I think I read somewhere that she only wanted to be President. I don’t think I’d sleep too well if she were one heartbeat away from my Presidency.

McCain: Good point. So, let’s stay with our own party for now. I think we need a woman to cash in on the female voters that won’t vote for Obama and Biden.

Advisor: Of course. I think we can work with that.

McCain: And she needs to have serious foreign policy expertise. Do you think we can find anyone that fits all of those criteria?

Advisor: Let me look. Hmm, Wikipedia lists 56 choices for Governor.

McCain: 56! I thought we only had 50 states. That wackypedia thing can’t be right. You know, I can’t even type. Hey, can Cindy be my vice president?

Advisor: Let’s stay focused sir. The United States has six territories as well.

McCain: Oh yes.

Advisor: Now, of those 56 leaders, 23 are Republicans.

McCain: Excellent, it looks like we’re getting somewhere.

Advisor: And there are only 3 female Republican governors: M. Jodi Rell of Connecticut; Linda Lingle of Hawaii; and Sarah Palin of Alaska.

McCain: I don’t know any of them. What about their foreign policy expertise?

Advisor: Sorry, Senator, I’m not sure either. Anyone have an atlas? (delay) Well, Connecticut is on the East Coast, so she’s out. Hawaii is 2,000 miles away from any other landmass, so what experience could there be out in the middle of the ocean?

McCain: Wasn’t Obama born in Hawaii? That could be a plus.

Advisor: Yes, he was. But look, sir, the map shows that Alaska actually touches Canada. And Russia is just across the Bering Strait.

McCain: Wow, this Gov. Palin looks like a mighty strong candidate. Let’s get her! I sure hope those reporters ask her about her foreign policy expertise.

Advisor: Yes sir!

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Posted under Humor

Comment spammers are definitely getting trickier, as noticed by Mark Ghosh in his article Comment Spam with more Kung Fu?. I’m starting to notice that the comment spammers are now starting to simply copy and paste an existing comment and submit as their own comment.

My guidelines for identifying comment spam that doesn’t get caught by Akismet:

1. If the “name” is not a first and last name, the comment is probably spam. It will at least get a closer look.
2. If the “name” is not a name at all (furniture, travel deals, SEO-anything) the comment is spam.
3. If the “email” is from China or Russia, the comment is spam.
4. If the “email” looks fake, the comment is spam.
5. If the site at the “URL” is not in English, the comment is spam.
6. If the site at the “URL” feels spammy (an entirely subjective opinion), the comment is spam.
7. If the comment itself has links to the poster’s web site, like an email signature, that signature will get removed from the comment. Plus if the signature URL is different than the “URL” field, the comment is spam.

If the comment passes all of these items, then I check my web server’s log files to find where the user came from. Look at this spammer:

75.101.138.119 - - [22/Sep/2008:21:35:36 -0400] “GET /2008/06/26/helo-bot-hostname/ HTTP/1.1″ 200 23602 “-” “Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1)”
75.101.138.119 - - [22/Sep/2008:21:35:39 -0400] “POST /wp-comments-post.php HTTP/1.1″ 302 1 “http://www.planetmike.com/2008/06/26/helo-bot-hostname/” “Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1)”
75.101.138.119 - - [22/Sep/2008:21:35:43 -0400] “GET /2008/06/26/helo-bot-hostname/#comment-15818 HTTP/1.1″ 404 19992 “http://www.planetmike.com/2008/06/26/helo-bot-hostname/” “Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1)”

They’re coming from Amazon’s Web Services (75.101.138.119 is ec2-75-101-138-119.compute-1.amazonaws.com). Hmmm, weird. They originally came to my site from nowhere, ie a bookmark or typing my URL into their IE 6 web browser. It only took them three seconds to read the page, enter their comment, and submit their comment. Not likely. This comment was spam.

After looking at the server log, if I’m still not sure if its a real comment, I generally, but not always, will approve the message but may remove the URL so there isn’t a link from the comment.

Posted under Spam, WordPress

I’ve been exploring Facebook the past few days. Why in the world do the pages load so incredibly slowly? I’ve found lots of people I know, although what are the odds that I might know someone else that went to Virginia Tech? It’s kind of ridiculous to “suggest” to me that I might know someone simply because we both went to VT. Fine, I got over that silliness. But the pages are loading so slowly, 30 to 60 seconds per page. Is Facebook always like that?

Posted under Web-design

I’ve upgraded all of my blogs to the latest version of WordPress, 2.6.2. No hiccups or problems. It seems that every release goes just a bit quicker and more easily than the prior release. And of course, 2.7 is due out later this year. More info at Lorelle’s posting for this week’s WordPress news.

Posted under WordPress

I’ve been exploring the new iTunes, and other than locking up when scanning for Album Art the first time I opened the application, I like it. The new visualizer is based off Magnetosphere. While the visualizer is running, press “?” to get a list of commands so you can customize the effects.

? = Toggle help screen
M = Change mode
P = Change palette
I = Display track info
C = Toggle auto-cycle (on by default)
F = Toggle freeze mode
N = Toggle nebula mode
L = Toggle camera lock

Hit “F” then play with the “m”odes. Very nice.

Posted under Buy-a-Mac

What’s the deal with the phrase “no longer used” at the end of every post to Netcraft’s blog? It’s been there for as long as I can remember.

And why doesn’t Netcraft use www for their web site in their domain? Can you think of any other sites that don’t use www or nothing in front of their domain name?

Posted under Web-design

Software

1. Use as little software as possible.
2. Use software that allows you to easily save your work on your computer.
3. Learn how to use your software. Take classes. Read the help. Read the manual (if one exists). Don’t be afraid to use forums on the web to ask for help.
4. Create two User accounts on your Mac. One is the “administrative” user that is used only for upgrading the operating system or installing or upgrading applications. The other user is for you to use for your daily tasks.
5. Keep your software up to date. But don’t automatically pay for an upgrade to the latest and greatest version unless the newer version has a feature you will actually use. Wait at least a week after a major upgrade is released to upgrade.
6. Do not use software that isn’t made specifically for your operating system. (You’ll know it when you see it because it won’t look right or work correctly.)
7. Avoid beta software.
8. Avoid Microsoft software.

Hardware

1. Buy an iMac, or a MacBook with an external monitor.
2. Buy a two button mouse.
3. Buy a Firewire hard disk to put backups on. Ideally, buy two and set them up as a RAID.
4. Buy a laser printer, not an ink jet printer.
5. Optional but highly recommended: Buy a Fujitsu ScanSnap paper scanner and get rid of all the paper junk stored around your home.

These are my rules and they make me happy. I hope they make you happy too. Modeled after Alex Payne’s rules.

Posted under Technology